Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Getting out of the Ruts

I had an great conversation with my husband this morning about our minds sets. He has been in a little rut with his work and it takes a lot out on a person  who is doing their personal best. How do we change our mind sets and get out of the "Ruts"?

 We all struggle with our own personal challenges life hands us. Or more like throws at us while we  try to juggle the tasks we have. My latest rut is with running. I have gone back and forth on running a marathon. It motivates me to do something I feel is so out of reach. While I'm running my mind tells me how are you going to run 26 miles when you can barley do a few.  The rule of "Start Small " echos in my head. But how do I go from small to bigger, then even bigger! So I looked up races in my region and have hit up friends to go with(still trying to have friends go with me). I have one race planned for 8.5 miles . I know I can do that! There is a marathon in Jan that's lingering on my mind. But I have a head full of excuses:
I want my first(and maybe only) marathon to  be at or around sea level(it won't happen with this one)
I want to be in the best shape of my life(well hat was like 10 years ago).
I need a friend to do it with me for moral  and motivational support.
I want to get pregnant soon, so maybe it's not a good idea.

You can see why it's my rut. I have some good excuses. With our ruts we need to have a sense of urgency to change. Is our rut keeping us from progressing? Is it holding us back from something better? Is it stopping us from being more happy?  How often is it in our minds? Are we holding back other?

Some may be more of a personal accomplishment, like mine. Some may be more important then others. Take a different route, a different approach to how you usually do things. Ask for some advice from someone you wouldn't usually. Ponder in a way you've never done. Read a book or search the Internet with your questions.

If you are doing your personal best, just dig a little deeper. You can do it! Don't forget to breathe!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Leap into Responsibility

In 9th grade at was at a friends house  getting ready to go out on the town. She really wanted to wear a certain shirt. We had a couple of hours to kill before we were set to leave. I said
"Go put it in the washer, we'll have time."
"My mom's not home."
"So what, do you have to ask your mom for permission?"
"No, I don't know how to use the washer."
I couldn't believe it! She was 15 and didn't know how to use the washer!I showed her how to do it(she was a little reluctant thinking her washer might be different). In fact that day I showed her how to use the dishwasher too.

That day I realized how important it is to have personal stewardship and self reliance. We need to be responsible in our temporal needs.We may not struggle with the washer, but how are we doing with our money? Do you rely heavily on others to take control of the things you don't like or  understand? Do you know how much is coming in, and how much is going out?

If you don't control your money, it will control you. In college I was saving up for a trip  that cost a lot of money. Some friends would make fun of "My Budget." I would have to turn down movie offers or some other fun thing if I have already used my budget for the month.
Then they would say "I wish I could travel like you, I'm too poor." I wasn't rich ladies and gentlemen I just had a goal! Now in college is was easier. I didn't have to worry about mortgages, unexpected doctor visits, insurances going up, and many more things that throw you a lemon. But the principals are the same. Here are some guide lines I got from the book The Five Lessons A Millionaire Taught Me, By Richard Paul Evans(highly recommend, it's a mix between Ramsey and Kiyosaki)

1. Know How Much Money You Have-
At the end of each month fill out a your expenses and chart your progress. How much is your net worth?

2. Know Where Your Money Comes From-
Every little thing from paycheck to eBay or yard sales. One time bonus should only be used for one time expenditures(vacation, student loans, paying down mortgage).

3. Know Where Your money is Going-
Knowing where you spend your money is the only way you can control it. Don't just let others or spouse mange it. Keep track in a ledger, computer program(like quicken). Make sure you pay yourself, and give yourself a budget.

4. Know What Your Money is Doing-
Find ways to have your money work for you. When you stay true to yourself and take responsibility of your investments, you'll be more clear about your money working for you. Saying " I don't have time for this.."  is like ignoring traffic signs when you drive. You make time. And when your actively looking to create new avenues , they will appear.

That's just a snippet of  the lesson on taking responsibility. There are 4 others! It's important for us to learn about our own wealth and know what money can do for us. And focusing on money is not bad, it's actually good and responsible. It's bad when we make money our only focus  and it consumes us. So let's take control and be involved in our finances.


Sunday, August 7, 2011

Being Present

The past is history
The future is a mystery
Today is a gift
That is why we call it the present



How easy is it to be in the present? What does is mean to be in the present?
 We are surrounded by distractions: The chores around the house ,that enticing  television show, our work loads, the Internet blogs we get glued too. The list can go on! There is an on going cliche about the guy in front of the television or computer giving the "yes dear" response but not truly listening. I would love to say that as a women I am a great listener , and that I never tune out people in my life. 

Today I've tried to be more present. It has been harder than I thought! I noticed that tuning out my children can be natural(AHHHH)!!! I kept saying to Ky "Tell me again." And try to give my full attention and listen to what he was sharing. He told me a couple of times today that he loved me and gave me a big hug. At one time I was reading and sort-of ignoring his chatty  conversation.  I stopped and gave him eye contact and huge smile spread across his face. So often, we push our kids, spouses, acquaintances, friends, and co-workers aside because we're distracted.

I have "alright" friends.  I hate to say this, but these friends are people who I interact with but they're not my favorites. My eyes tend to glaze over when they get chatty about random things(I have done this with my good friends too, just it happens more with alrighties). I start thinking of things I need to get done and realize I missed half their story. Did I really miss the whole thing!  There is nothing wrong with them, and I do like hanging out sometimes (but it can be awkward). I'm just not as drawn to their personalities as much as others. Maybe I need to make more of an effort to get to know them or be content knowing that we can't be buddy/buddy with everyone. Either way I need to be present. Doing my best to understand others and giving my full attention. I could make a bestie out of it, so I need to try harder!

And what about the people we know we don't like? Or the people that drive us Mad!? We can choose our attitude. We can still be present and respectful. When we are kind and coming from the heart, I believe that other person is more likely to respond better. There is no guarantee, but you know you did your best.

Our answers can be more clear and present when we ask questions and are honest.
 "Is this a good time to talk?"
" You seem to be distracted, can I come at a better time?"
Or it could be the other way around with your children.
"Hey Buddy I'm busy doing so and so but right before dinner I want us to have a 15 min date on how your day was!"
Letting our loved ones or "alright friends" know our intentions up front goes a long way. And we must follow through with what we say! Also saying I love you when your totally distracts help too!
" I love you so much!, can you wait 10 min.(with a smile!)"
So this week  be present to those you encounter. :)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Crafty---To Be or Not to Be

 Putting lots of pieces of paper together to make a masterpiece craft is usually not my idea of fun. At times I can dread it. While some people find it relaxing and get a buzz using their creative juices, I find it stressful.My patience is limited and feel I need to do it fast but I want to do a good job(those don't mix).

Last week my brain was pushing me to do something fun for my kids. Our craft time if any, can last a whopping 20min on a good day. My extra goal this week is to make a craft everyday with my kids(This is a Challenge!) Last week I emerged myself into craft world on the Internet and found some ideas. I gave myself a pep talk: You have to make this fun for you too, or you'll dread it!!! Last Friday I announced to Kyrick that I was putting on a craft week. His eyes lit up. We went to the library to get some books on crafts so he could have some input. Sat morning he came to me bright eyed and bushy tailed
  " Mom what craft are we doing today?"
" We're not starting til Monday." He was disappointed. He started gazing through the books telling how much fun this one and that one would be.
" Oh, okay we can start today."
We got right to work. It was a simple but very fun craft to start with. A frog card  that when you open it, it's mouth pops out. Maliah wanted one too, so hers was a cat.They set them up proudly on our TV console and have played with them everyday since.  All day they couldn't wait to show Josh(unfortunately he had to stay and work late)and right before bed they mentioned their prized cards.
So I went the extra mile and did a craft on Sunday as well(because Kyrick mentioned it).

  I have to tell myself that it's what we do in between that counts. My kids really don't care about what they do and how it looks. They just want to create and have mom enjoy it while we're doing it. I really have to pay attention to my attitude, to make sure it's in check. I challenge all of us to do something with our kids they they enjoy(and maybe we aren't too fond of it) and do it with a genuine smile :)

Monday, July 18, 2011

I'm Back! A little Less Cluttered

  So I took a hiatus from blogging and from the women's challenge. Well I'm back and ready to go forward.    This last couple of weeks we stayed at our gracious friends house while we finished up painting and putting the floors in our new house( yes, the 7th move in 7 yrs). My friend has 4 kids with one on the way and lives in the exact same floor plan as our rental which was roughly 1850sqft. While living there I noticed how little they have. And not because they have to live without(he is a doctor)but because they choose to. She is very organized and her closet(which I almost died when we moved there cause it's little)wasn't even full. In fact her husband had more  clothes hanging up and that's not saying much. I hope I wasn't being to noisy but I looked through all the cupboards and closets thinking to myself, how does she do it!? Her children still had awesome toys and games but just less. Is less really more?
   She inspired me to de-cutter. While unpacking today I've really tried to ask myself if what I had in my hand was needed... Do I need 4 serving spoons? No. Do I need all these plastic cups? No. What about that ice cream maker...well I could use it, I did use it in the last 6 months, so i guess it gets a pass, maybe?  I have a long ways to go. I'm not ready to release all my clutter. If we all just start small: With one box, one closet, or if we really want to be ambitious try doing a whole room. I felt good and want to do more. More clearing  of all the stuff I've accumulated. I challenge you to do the same and make a goal to go through that drawer that you've been wanting to tackle for so long.
  I don't even want to think about my closet... :)

Friday, March 4, 2011

Fearless

    "Fear never wrote a symphony or poem, negotiated a peace treaty, or cured a disease. Fear never pulled a family out of poverty or a country out of bigotry. Fear never saved a marriage or a business. Courage did that. Faith did that. People who refused to consult or cower to their timidities did that. But fear itself? Fear herds us into a prison and slams the doors.
     Wouldn't it be great to walk out?"  A excerpt from Max Lucado's book Fearless

     Motivation often comes from fear or love. Why is it that  fear drives us more than love? How many times do we catch ourselves  repeat mistakes that come from our fears. Have any of the following crossed your mind:
         The fear of not having enough...       money, love, time
         The fear of letting go...                    of the past, what could have been
         The fear of opening our hearts         up to people, to ourselves, to God
         The fear of failure                            our children, job, or relationships

Under pressure we can be fearless or full or fear.
     When I was 19 I took a short trip to Utah. On the home it was pouring rain. While driving down a ramp connecting to another freeway I hydroplaned  and went off the road. Luckily I wasn't going too fast but it was so muddy my car just continued to slide even after stopping. I was stuck in the mud. Here I was in a place I wasn't familiar with without any money but a couple of bucks in my pocket. Sitting in the car I thought what am I going to do?I gotta do something. So quickly  jumping out of my car I waved down the first car I saw. A nice family gave me a lift the the nearest gas station. I ran into the station and just blurted out,"Does anyone have a tow strap?"
    Now I know it sounds half crazy and probably a little reckless but it made sense to me at the time. The women at the register pointed to a truck out in the parking lot  "He looks like a guy who would have one." So I ran outside and knocked on this guys window. 
  " Do you have a tow strap? And if you do are you willing to tow me out, I'm a few miles away?"
  " Yes and yes, hop in."
This fine looking cowboy seemed nice enough and  to help me, a complete stranger. My heart felt he was good. Though I never would suggest  going just on the gut! And about ten minutes later I was back on my way again.
    I was fearless whether or not it was the best situation to my problem.  I took action. Metaphorically speaking  we have to find a way out of the mud. We cannot stew and come up with excuses to stand still. To get  results we have to flag down that person or situation and face our challenge. It will be uncomfortable and daunting at times but little by little our courage deepens. Don't just face your fears dive into them!

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"Fear may fill our world, but it doesn't have to fill our hearts. It will always knock on the door, Just don't invite it in for dinner, and for heaven's sake don't offer it a bed for the night. Let's embolden our hearts with a select number of Jesus' "do not fear" statements. The promise of Christ and the contention of this book are simple: we can fearless tomorrow than we do today,"  Max Lucado(Fearless)



"And Jesus came and touched them, and said, Arise, and be not afraid." Matthew 17:7

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Love Quotes

In honor of Valentine's Day:

"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven." Karen Sunde

"A life without love is like a year without summer." Swedish proverbs

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."  Robert Heinlein

"Love is a promise, love is a souvenir,once given never forgotten, never let it disappear." John Lennon

"Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence." Vincent Van Gogh

" How can a women be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being." Oscar Wilde

"Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning." Unknown

"You know your in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world." David Levesque

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Stranger Danger!

  Here is Tucson we had freeze like everyone else in the nation. It was HOT news and throughout the day it interrupted our regular scheduled programs.  It was a little too much for me and a little annoying . Toward the end of the day I finally got some time to workout and have some alone time.
    While I was finishing up a lady was talking about the "Great Freeze" and the significance of school being cancelled. I gave my two cents on the absurdity of everyones hype on the whole thing in the nicest politest way(some of you may argue, but truly I was on good behavior). She however tried to change my mind on how important this historical event was. Frankly, I didn't want to argue I just wanted to finish my workout in peace. But she kept going..... Hmm ,how am I going to get out of this one. Finally the house decorating show is back on from the TV at the gym. So I started just watching it intently and close our chat by mumbling something .
    But why is that I'm still annoyed even after I leave. I stewed over it for a bit. When I usually have overly zealous conversation with a total stranger it doesn't bother me. I shake them off if there is anything to shake. If I do think about it, I'm not bothered. Why am I so agitated by this lady? I find myself venting to others about it. So I thought about it...
     Our views were different. I was okay with it and she wasn't. She kept trying to help me realize how important it was.  She was old enough to be my mom and talked to me as a child. Subconsciously that rubbed me the wrong way. But still ,why did a stranger get beneath my skin?
   I realize that I liked to be heard. I want to be acknowledged. You don't have to agree with me just see where I'm coming from. Also I don't like it when someone is trying to change my opinion, especially when it's a  feeling. I like my quiet time, it was interrupted. I usually enjoy interesting stranger exchanges just not the dangerous ones!
  Mom would be proud that I learned more about myself from my Stranger Danger! ;)

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Are you writing your goals??

I can admit to not writing my goals down!

When I do write them out I don't look at them as often as I should. Most of the time I just review them in my head. But how effective am I being?... From what I've been reading I'm really losing the point. Scribbling a few needed changes is not going to be life changing. Goals need to be written out and detail oriented.

Another problem I ran into with goal setting is distinguishing between goals and dreams. As far as I'm concerned they mix. But when does that dream begin to be an active goal to pursue? And if you are going after it, is it realistic?

Plus I found out I do too many at one time( Thanks to that darn challenge!).

So what is too many? It depends on You. How much time are you willing to put forth? Will you check on your progress daily, weekly monthly? Most experts think focusing on 1-2 big goals and 3-4 smaller goals is good. But if you struggle to juggle that many just focus one at a time. Break down your one big goal into smaller goals so you can measure your success. It's important to make milestones for encouragement and keeping yourself motivated. Tell the  positive people in your life what your plan is so  they can hold you accountable. Make sure your goals are written in a positive manner.

Here are some guidelines to help you write out your goals.

Your goals must be:
Conceivable: you must be able to put your goal into words;
Achievable: you must have the attributes, energy, and time to accomplish your goal;
Believable: you must believe you can reach your goal;
Achievable Within a Certain Time Frame: you must be able to state how long it will take you to reach your goal;
Clearly Defined: you must know exactly what your goal is;
Flexible: you must be willing to modify your goal as necessary;
Define both your long-term and short-term

Friday, January 28, 2011

Quotes By Martin Luther King Jr.

Since we did celebrate a holiday in honor of him this month I thought I might post some quotes. I would have loved to hear him today on issues of the world. Who knows if he could of been our first black president?



-A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.

-A lie cannot live.

-A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.

-A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.

-A right delayed is a right denied.

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-All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.

-An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.


-An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.

-At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.

-Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.

-Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.


-Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.

-Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.
 

Martin Luther King Jr.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Finding the HAPPY in our day to day life!

I found an article that shared how we can have more happiness. I changed some and added my two cents in.

Increasing Happiness in Daily Life:

1) Change the way you look at things. Always look at the bright side. The mind may drag you to think about negativity and difficulties. Don't let it. Look at the good and positive side of every situation.


2) Think of solutions, not problems.


3) Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.


4) Watch funny comedies that make you laugh.


5) Each day, devote some time to reading a few pages of an inspiring book or article.


6) Watch your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, start thinking of pleasant things.


7) Always look at what you have done and not at what you haven't.


Sometimes you may begin the day with the desire to accomplish several objectives. At the end of the day you might feel frustrated and unhappy, because you haven't been able to do all of those things.
Look at what you have done, not at what you have not been able to do.


8) Each day do something good for yourself. It can be something small, such buying a book, eating something you love, watching you favorite program on TV, going to a movie, or just having a stroll on the beach.


9) Each day do at least one act to make others happy. This can be a kind word, helping your colleagues, stopping your car at the crossroad to let people cross, giving your seat in a bus to someone else, or giving a small present to someone you love. The possibilities are infinite.


10) Always expect happiness.


11) Do not envy people who are happy. On the contrary, be happy for their happiness.


12) Associate with happy people, and try to learn from them to be happy. Remember, happiness is contagious.


13) Allow yourself to take compliments and thank those who do.

14) Smile more often!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

What is being our "Authentic selves"

This past weekend the topic of "Being our authentic selves" came up. All weekend my mind was puzzled on what that really meant. Does it mean we act genuine at all times? Does is mean actions in our life's define who we are? Or is it just being real and living in reality. What ever it is, it probably has a different definition for everyone. Being curious I looked up the meaning and here is what I found:

AUTHENTIC:
1.Not false or copied; genuine; real: an authentic antique.


2. Having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence; authenticated; verified: an authentic document of the Middle Ages; an authentic work of the old master.

3. Entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy

4. Law . executed with all due formalities
 
 
I believe it's when we are stripped by our pride and choose to live in a manner that is humble and honest. When we chose to live by Christ's example and rely more in him than in man. It's a hope of understanding our adversities with our best selves. 
 
When we choose to be authentic, it should not be according to the world. By unreeling the layers we have built around us, we begin to see us how God does. It's trust and by listening in those quiet times we connect with who we are and can become.Clearity comes with patience, it comes in doing rather than waiting.
 
I ask you, What is being "authentic" mean to you? Is it achievable to be authentic in most or all situations?

Monday, January 3, 2011

A New Challenge!

   When the last challenge ended in November  I told myself I wasn't doing it again. No way, it's too hard! Surviving two was a big enough accomplishment , right? December came and stole any good habit formed from challenge. So here I am.
   I didn't post as much I thought from fall challenge. Maybe not as much to say, or prep for the holidays? My journal entries were with less substance and just the day to day things( I only write in the blog when I've been thinking!).
I hope this time around I can write what has been motivating me. Or things we can do to focus on our goals.

First thing of motivation: Health and Wellness
Action- For awhile now I've been thinking about people who have influenced me(especially the ones who don't know) and have had an impact on my life. I've wanted to write and let them know my appreciation. My goal this week is to write one person a letter , and try to find they're email /snail mail address.

Here is to a good New Year! Of course I raise my glass with a spinach drink!