A friend of mine from one of the groups I'm a part of on Facebook asked us to post a picture of when we were dating our spouse, and the story of how we met.She also had us include what we have learned from marriage. It has been fun reading how people met and the learning part too. It's important to work on our relationships, so what are you doing to cherish one of your relationship's this week? I thought I would share what I wrote about Josh and a little of our story.
First time I met Josh was at a basketball game his roommates were playing in. We were cheering for the same guys. After the game we officially met. He told me he was from Utah and I quote myself, " I DON'T date Utah guys!" I gave him smack about Utah and was trying to see if he could handle some sarcasm for fun. Our first date was like a couple months later. It was a group dance date(girl ask guy). Me and two of my other friends had crushes on the same guy but since one of my girl friends was shy we let her go with him. They convinced me to ask Josh cause he was a roommate to a bunch of the guys that were going with who we hung out with quite a bit. My first thought was he's way too nice and could not handle my spice. I love to dance and when he actually knew how, he caught me off guard and our chemistry on the dance floor was on fire. Later that night my girlfriend predicted that we were going to get married(in fact she couldn't stop taking about it). I thought she was crazy! I had an amazing time, but good first dates were habitual with me. I played a tiny bit of hard to get, but then I was butter after a couple of months:0) I've learned to be honest in everything, not brutally, just clear. And it's important to laugh hard and play hard!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Getting out of the Ruts
I had an great conversation with my husband this morning about our minds sets. He has been in a little rut with his work and it takes a lot out on a person who is doing their personal best. How do we change our mind sets and get out of the "Ruts"?
We all struggle with our own personal challenges life hands us. Or more like throws at us while we try to juggle the tasks we have. My latest rut is with running. I have gone back and forth on running a marathon. It motivates me to do something I feel is so out of reach. While I'm running my mind tells me how are you going to run 26 miles when you can barley do a few. The rule of "Start Small " echos in my head. But how do I go from small to bigger, then even bigger! So I looked up races in my region and have hit up friends to go with(still trying to have friends go with me). I have one race planned for 8.5 miles . I know I can do that! There is a marathon in Jan that's lingering on my mind. But I have a head full of excuses:
I want my first(and maybe only) marathon to be at or around sea level(it won't happen with this one)
I want to be in the best shape of my life(well hat was like 10 years ago).
I need a friend to do it with me for moral and motivational support.
I want to get pregnant soon, so maybe it's not a good idea.
You can see why it's my rut. I have some good excuses. With our ruts we need to have a sense of urgency to change. Is our rut keeping us from progressing? Is it holding us back from something better? Is it stopping us from being more happy? How often is it in our minds? Are we holding back other?
Some may be more of a personal accomplishment, like mine. Some may be more important then others. Take a different route, a different approach to how you usually do things. Ask for some advice from someone you wouldn't usually. Ponder in a way you've never done. Read a book or search the Internet with your questions.
If you are doing your personal best, just dig a little deeper. You can do it! Don't forget to breathe!
We all struggle with our own personal challenges life hands us. Or more like throws at us while we try to juggle the tasks we have. My latest rut is with running. I have gone back and forth on running a marathon. It motivates me to do something I feel is so out of reach. While I'm running my mind tells me how are you going to run 26 miles when you can barley do a few. The rule of "Start Small " echos in my head. But how do I go from small to bigger, then even bigger! So I looked up races in my region and have hit up friends to go with(still trying to have friends go with me). I have one race planned for 8.5 miles . I know I can do that! There is a marathon in Jan that's lingering on my mind. But I have a head full of excuses:
I want my first(and maybe only) marathon to be at or around sea level(it won't happen with this one)
I want to be in the best shape of my life(well hat was like 10 years ago).
I need a friend to do it with me for moral and motivational support.
I want to get pregnant soon, so maybe it's not a good idea.
You can see why it's my rut. I have some good excuses. With our ruts we need to have a sense of urgency to change. Is our rut keeping us from progressing? Is it holding us back from something better? Is it stopping us from being more happy? How often is it in our minds? Are we holding back other?
Some may be more of a personal accomplishment, like mine. Some may be more important then others. Take a different route, a different approach to how you usually do things. Ask for some advice from someone you wouldn't usually. Ponder in a way you've never done. Read a book or search the Internet with your questions.
If you are doing your personal best, just dig a little deeper. You can do it! Don't forget to breathe!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Leap into Responsibility
In 9th grade at was at a friends house getting ready to go out on the town. She really wanted to wear a certain shirt. We had a couple of hours to kill before we were set to leave. I said
"Go put it in the washer, we'll have time."
"My mom's not home."
"So what, do you have to ask your mom for permission?"
"No, I don't know how to use the washer."
I couldn't believe it! She was 15 and didn't know how to use the washer!I showed her how to do it(she was a little reluctant thinking her washer might be different). In fact that day I showed her how to use the dishwasher too.
That day I realized how important it is to have personal stewardship and self reliance. We need to be responsible in our temporal needs.We may not struggle with the washer, but how are we doing with our money? Do you rely heavily on others to take control of the things you don't like or understand? Do you know how much is coming in, and how much is going out?
If you don't control your money, it will control you. In college I was saving up for a trip that cost a lot of money. Some friends would make fun of "My Budget." I would have to turn down movie offers or some other fun thing if I have already used my budget for the month.
Then they would say "I wish I could travel like you, I'm too poor." I wasn't rich ladies and gentlemen I just had a goal! Now in college is was easier. I didn't have to worry about mortgages, unexpected doctor visits, insurances going up, and many more things that throw you a lemon. But the principals are the same. Here are some guide lines I got from the book The Five Lessons A Millionaire Taught Me, By Richard Paul Evans(highly recommend, it's a mix between Ramsey and Kiyosaki)
1. Know How Much Money You Have-
At the end of each month fill out a your expenses and chart your progress. How much is your net worth?
2. Know Where Your Money Comes From-
Every little thing from paycheck to eBay or yard sales. One time bonus should only be used for one time expenditures(vacation, student loans, paying down mortgage).
3. Know Where Your money is Going-
Knowing where you spend your money is the only way you can control it. Don't just let others or spouse mange it. Keep track in a ledger, computer program(like quicken). Make sure you pay yourself, and give yourself a budget.
4. Know What Your Money is Doing-
Find ways to have your money work for you. When you stay true to yourself and take responsibility of your investments, you'll be more clear about your money working for you. Saying " I don't have time for this.." is like ignoring traffic signs when you drive. You make time. And when your actively looking to create new avenues , they will appear.
That's just a snippet of the lesson on taking responsibility. There are 4 others! It's important for us to learn about our own wealth and know what money can do for us. And focusing on money is not bad, it's actually good and responsible. It's bad when we make money our only focus and it consumes us. So let's take control and be involved in our finances.
"Go put it in the washer, we'll have time."
"My mom's not home."
"So what, do you have to ask your mom for permission?"
"No, I don't know how to use the washer."
I couldn't believe it! She was 15 and didn't know how to use the washer!I showed her how to do it(she was a little reluctant thinking her washer might be different). In fact that day I showed her how to use the dishwasher too.
That day I realized how important it is to have personal stewardship and self reliance. We need to be responsible in our temporal needs.We may not struggle with the washer, but how are we doing with our money? Do you rely heavily on others to take control of the things you don't like or understand? Do you know how much is coming in, and how much is going out?
If you don't control your money, it will control you. In college I was saving up for a trip that cost a lot of money. Some friends would make fun of "My Budget." I would have to turn down movie offers or some other fun thing if I have already used my budget for the month.
Then they would say "I wish I could travel like you, I'm too poor." I wasn't rich ladies and gentlemen I just had a goal! Now in college is was easier. I didn't have to worry about mortgages, unexpected doctor visits, insurances going up, and many more things that throw you a lemon. But the principals are the same. Here are some guide lines I got from the book The Five Lessons A Millionaire Taught Me, By Richard Paul Evans(highly recommend, it's a mix between Ramsey and Kiyosaki)
1. Know How Much Money You Have-
At the end of each month fill out a your expenses and chart your progress. How much is your net worth?
2. Know Where Your Money Comes From-
Every little thing from paycheck to eBay or yard sales. One time bonus should only be used for one time expenditures(vacation, student loans, paying down mortgage).
3. Know Where Your money is Going-
Knowing where you spend your money is the only way you can control it. Don't just let others or spouse mange it. Keep track in a ledger, computer program(like quicken). Make sure you pay yourself, and give yourself a budget.
4. Know What Your Money is Doing-
Find ways to have your money work for you. When you stay true to yourself and take responsibility of your investments, you'll be more clear about your money working for you. Saying " I don't have time for this.." is like ignoring traffic signs when you drive. You make time. And when your actively looking to create new avenues , they will appear.
That's just a snippet of the lesson on taking responsibility. There are 4 others! It's important for us to learn about our own wealth and know what money can do for us. And focusing on money is not bad, it's actually good and responsible. It's bad when we make money our only focus and it consumes us. So let's take control and be involved in our finances.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Being Present
The past is history
The future is a mystery
Today is a gift
That is why we call it the present
How easy is it to be in the present? What does is mean to be in the present?
We are surrounded by distractions: The chores around the house ,that enticing television show, our work loads, the Internet blogs we get glued too. The list can go on! There is an on going cliche about the guy in front of the television or computer giving the "yes dear" response but not truly listening. I would love to say that as a women I am a great listener , and that I never tune out people in my life.
Today I've tried to be more present. It has been harder than I thought! I noticed that tuning out my children can be natural(AHHHH)!!! I kept saying to Ky "Tell me again." And try to give my full attention and listen to what he was sharing. He told me a couple of times today that he loved me and gave me a big hug. At one time I was reading and sort-of ignoring his chatty conversation. I stopped and gave him eye contact and huge smile spread across his face. So often, we push our kids, spouses, acquaintances, friends, and co-workers aside because we're distracted.
I have "alright" friends. I hate to say this, but these friends are people who I interact with but they're not my favorites. My eyes tend to glaze over when they get chatty about random things(I have done this with my good friends too, just it happens more with alrighties). I start thinking of things I need to get done and realize I missed half their story. Did I really miss the whole thing! There is nothing wrong with them, and I do like hanging out sometimes (but it can be awkward). I'm just not as drawn to their personalities as much as others. Maybe I need to make more of an effort to get to know them or be content knowing that we can't be buddy/buddy with everyone. Either way I need to be present. Doing my best to understand others and giving my full attention. I could make a bestie out of it, so I need to try harder!
And what about the people we know we don't like? Or the people that drive us Mad!? We can choose our attitude. We can still be present and respectful. When we are kind and coming from the heart, I believe that other person is more likely to respond better. There is no guarantee, but you know you did your best.
Our answers can be more clear and present when we ask questions and are honest.
"Is this a good time to talk?"
" You seem to be distracted, can I come at a better time?"
Or it could be the other way around with your children.
"Hey Buddy I'm busy doing so and so but right before dinner I want us to have a 15 min date on how your day was!"
Letting our loved ones or "alright friends" know our intentions up front goes a long way. And we must follow through with what we say! Also saying I love you when your totally distracts help too!
" I love you so much!, can you wait 10 min.(with a smile!)"
So this week be present to those you encounter. :)
The future is a mystery
Today is a gift
That is why we call it the present
How easy is it to be in the present? What does is mean to be in the present?
We are surrounded by distractions: The chores around the house ,that enticing television show, our work loads, the Internet blogs we get glued too. The list can go on! There is an on going cliche about the guy in front of the television or computer giving the "yes dear" response but not truly listening. I would love to say that as a women I am a great listener , and that I never tune out people in my life.
Today I've tried to be more present. It has been harder than I thought! I noticed that tuning out my children can be natural(AHHHH)!!! I kept saying to Ky "Tell me again." And try to give my full attention and listen to what he was sharing. He told me a couple of times today that he loved me and gave me a big hug. At one time I was reading and sort-of ignoring his chatty conversation. I stopped and gave him eye contact and huge smile spread across his face. So often, we push our kids, spouses, acquaintances, friends, and co-workers aside because we're distracted.
I have "alright" friends. I hate to say this, but these friends are people who I interact with but they're not my favorites. My eyes tend to glaze over when they get chatty about random things(I have done this with my good friends too, just it happens more with alrighties). I start thinking of things I need to get done and realize I missed half their story. Did I really miss the whole thing! There is nothing wrong with them, and I do like hanging out sometimes (but it can be awkward). I'm just not as drawn to their personalities as much as others. Maybe I need to make more of an effort to get to know them or be content knowing that we can't be buddy/buddy with everyone. Either way I need to be present. Doing my best to understand others and giving my full attention. I could make a bestie out of it, so I need to try harder!
And what about the people we know we don't like? Or the people that drive us Mad!? We can choose our attitude. We can still be present and respectful. When we are kind and coming from the heart, I believe that other person is more likely to respond better. There is no guarantee, but you know you did your best.
Our answers can be more clear and present when we ask questions and are honest.
"Is this a good time to talk?"
" You seem to be distracted, can I come at a better time?"
Or it could be the other way around with your children.
"Hey Buddy I'm busy doing so and so but right before dinner I want us to have a 15 min date on how your day was!"
Letting our loved ones or "alright friends" know our intentions up front goes a long way. And we must follow through with what we say! Also saying I love you when your totally distracts help too!
" I love you so much!, can you wait 10 min.(with a smile!)"
So this week be present to those you encounter. :)
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Crafty---To Be or Not to Be
Putting lots of pieces of paper together to make a masterpiece craft is usually not my idea of fun. At times I can dread it. While some people find it relaxing and get a buzz using their creative juices, I find it stressful.My patience is limited and feel I need to do it fast but I want to do a good job(those don't mix).
Last week my brain was pushing me to do something fun for my kids. Our craft time if any, can last a whopping 20min on a good day. My extra goal this week is to make a craft everyday with my kids(This is a Challenge!) Last week I emerged myself into craft world on the Internet and found some ideas. I gave myself a pep talk: You have to make this fun for you too, or you'll dread it!!! Last Friday I announced to Kyrick that I was putting on a craft week. His eyes lit up. We went to the library to get some books on crafts so he could have some input. Sat morning he came to me bright eyed and bushy tailed
" Mom what craft are we doing today?"
" We're not starting til Monday." He was disappointed. He started gazing through the books telling how much fun this one and that one would be.
" Oh, okay we can start today."
We got right to work. It was a simple but very fun craft to start with. A frog card that when you open it, it's mouth pops out. Maliah wanted one too, so hers was a cat.They set them up proudly on our TV console and have played with them everyday since. All day they couldn't wait to show Josh(unfortunately he had to stay and work late)and right before bed they mentioned their prized cards.
So I went the extra mile and did a craft on Sunday as well(because Kyrick mentioned it).
I have to tell myself that it's what we do in between that counts. My kids really don't care about what they do and how it looks. They just want to create and have mom enjoy it while we're doing it. I really have to pay attention to my attitude, to make sure it's in check. I challenge all of us to do something with our kids they they enjoy(and maybe we aren't too fond of it) and do it with a genuine smile :)
Last week my brain was pushing me to do something fun for my kids. Our craft time if any, can last a whopping 20min on a good day. My extra goal this week is to make a craft everyday with my kids(This is a Challenge!) Last week I emerged myself into craft world on the Internet and found some ideas. I gave myself a pep talk: You have to make this fun for you too, or you'll dread it!!! Last Friday I announced to Kyrick that I was putting on a craft week. His eyes lit up. We went to the library to get some books on crafts so he could have some input. Sat morning he came to me bright eyed and bushy tailed
" Mom what craft are we doing today?"
" We're not starting til Monday." He was disappointed. He started gazing through the books telling how much fun this one and that one would be.
" Oh, okay we can start today."
We got right to work. It was a simple but very fun craft to start with. A frog card that when you open it, it's mouth pops out. Maliah wanted one too, so hers was a cat.They set them up proudly on our TV console and have played with them everyday since. All day they couldn't wait to show Josh(unfortunately he had to stay and work late)and right before bed they mentioned their prized cards.
So I went the extra mile and did a craft on Sunday as well(because Kyrick mentioned it).
I have to tell myself that it's what we do in between that counts. My kids really don't care about what they do and how it looks. They just want to create and have mom enjoy it while we're doing it. I really have to pay attention to my attitude, to make sure it's in check. I challenge all of us to do something with our kids they they enjoy(and maybe we aren't too fond of it) and do it with a genuine smile :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
I'm Back! A little Less Cluttered
So I took a hiatus from blogging and from the women's challenge. Well I'm back and ready to go forward. This last couple of weeks we stayed at our gracious friends house while we finished up painting and putting the floors in our new house( yes, the 7th move in 7 yrs). My friend has 4 kids with one on the way and lives in the exact same floor plan as our rental which was roughly 1850sqft. While living there I noticed how little they have. And not because they have to live without(he is a doctor)but because they choose to. She is very organized and her closet(which I almost died when we moved there cause it's little)wasn't even full. In fact her husband had more clothes hanging up and that's not saying much. I hope I wasn't being to noisy but I looked through all the cupboards and closets thinking to myself, how does she do it!? Her children still had awesome toys and games but just less. Is less really more?
She inspired me to de-cutter. While unpacking today I've really tried to ask myself if what I had in my hand was needed... Do I need 4 serving spoons? No. Do I need all these plastic cups? No. What about that ice cream maker...well I could use it, I did use it in the last 6 months, so i guess it gets a pass, maybe? I have a long ways to go. I'm not ready to release all my clutter. If we all just start small: With one box, one closet, or if we really want to be ambitious try doing a whole room. I felt good and want to do more. More clearing of all the stuff I've accumulated. I challenge you to do the same and make a goal to go through that drawer that you've been wanting to tackle for so long.
I don't even want to think about my closet... :)
She inspired me to de-cutter. While unpacking today I've really tried to ask myself if what I had in my hand was needed... Do I need 4 serving spoons? No. Do I need all these plastic cups? No. What about that ice cream maker...well I could use it, I did use it in the last 6 months, so i guess it gets a pass, maybe? I have a long ways to go. I'm not ready to release all my clutter. If we all just start small: With one box, one closet, or if we really want to be ambitious try doing a whole room. I felt good and want to do more. More clearing of all the stuff I've accumulated. I challenge you to do the same and make a goal to go through that drawer that you've been wanting to tackle for so long.
I don't even want to think about my closet... :)
Friday, March 4, 2011
Fearless
"Fear never wrote a symphony or poem, negotiated a peace treaty, or cured a disease. Fear never pulled a family out of poverty or a country out of bigotry. Fear never saved a marriage or a business. Courage did that. Faith did that. People who refused to consult or cower to their timidities did that. But fear itself? Fear herds us into a prison and slams the doors.
Wouldn't it be great to walk out?" A excerpt from Max Lucado's book Fearless
Motivation often comes from fear or love. Why is it that fear drives us more than love? How many times do we catch ourselves repeat mistakes that come from our fears. Have any of the following crossed your mind:
The fear of not having enough... money, love, time
The fear of letting go... of the past, what could have been
The fear of opening our hearts up to people, to ourselves, to God
The fear of failure our children, job, or relationships
Under pressure we can be fearless or full or fear.
When I was 19 I took a short trip to Utah. On the home it was pouring rain. While driving down a ramp connecting to another freeway I hydroplaned and went off the road. Luckily I wasn't going too fast but it was so muddy my car just continued to slide even after stopping. I was stuck in the mud. Here I was in a place I wasn't familiar with without any money but a couple of bucks in my pocket. Sitting in the car I thought what am I going to do?I gotta do something. So quickly jumping out of my car I waved down the first car I saw. A nice family gave me a lift the the nearest gas station. I ran into the station and just blurted out,"Does anyone have a tow strap?"
Now I know it sounds half crazy and probably a little reckless but it made sense to me at the time. The women at the register pointed to a truck out in the parking lot "He looks like a guy who would have one." So I ran outside and knocked on this guys window.
" Do you have a tow strap? And if you do are you willing to tow me out, I'm a few miles away?"
" Yes and yes, hop in."
This fine looking cowboy seemed nice enough and to help me, a complete stranger. My heart felt he was good. Though I never would suggest going just on the gut! And about ten minutes later I was back on my way again.
I was fearless whether or not it was the best situation to my problem. I took action. Metaphorically speaking we have to find a way out of the mud. We cannot stew and come up with excuses to stand still. To get results we have to flag down that person or situation and face our challenge. It will be uncomfortable and daunting at times but little by little our courage deepens. Don't just face your fears dive into them!
.
"Fear may fill our world, but it doesn't have to fill our hearts. It will always knock on the door, Just don't invite it in for dinner, and for heaven's sake don't offer it a bed for the night. Let's embolden our hearts with a select number of Jesus' "do not fear" statements. The promise of Christ and the contention of this book are simple: we can fearless tomorrow than we do today," Max Lucado(Fearless)
"And Jesus came and touched them, and said, Arise, and be not afraid." Matthew 17:7
Wouldn't it be great to walk out?" A excerpt from Max Lucado's book Fearless
Motivation often comes from fear or love. Why is it that fear drives us more than love? How many times do we catch ourselves repeat mistakes that come from our fears. Have any of the following crossed your mind:
The fear of not having enough... money, love, time
The fear of letting go... of the past, what could have been
The fear of opening our hearts up to people, to ourselves, to God
The fear of failure our children, job, or relationships
Under pressure we can be fearless or full or fear.
When I was 19 I took a short trip to Utah. On the home it was pouring rain. While driving down a ramp connecting to another freeway I hydroplaned and went off the road. Luckily I wasn't going too fast but it was so muddy my car just continued to slide even after stopping. I was stuck in the mud. Here I was in a place I wasn't familiar with without any money but a couple of bucks in my pocket. Sitting in the car I thought what am I going to do?I gotta do something. So quickly jumping out of my car I waved down the first car I saw. A nice family gave me a lift the the nearest gas station. I ran into the station and just blurted out,"Does anyone have a tow strap?"
Now I know it sounds half crazy and probably a little reckless but it made sense to me at the time. The women at the register pointed to a truck out in the parking lot "He looks like a guy who would have one." So I ran outside and knocked on this guys window.
" Do you have a tow strap? And if you do are you willing to tow me out, I'm a few miles away?"
" Yes and yes, hop in."
This fine looking cowboy seemed nice enough and to help me, a complete stranger. My heart felt he was good. Though I never would suggest going just on the gut! And about ten minutes later I was back on my way again.
I was fearless whether or not it was the best situation to my problem. I took action. Metaphorically speaking we have to find a way out of the mud. We cannot stew and come up with excuses to stand still. To get results we have to flag down that person or situation and face our challenge. It will be uncomfortable and daunting at times but little by little our courage deepens. Don't just face your fears dive into them!
.
"Fear may fill our world, but it doesn't have to fill our hearts. It will always knock on the door, Just don't invite it in for dinner, and for heaven's sake don't offer it a bed for the night. Let's embolden our hearts with a select number of Jesus' "do not fear" statements. The promise of Christ and the contention of this book are simple: we can fearless tomorrow than we do today," Max Lucado(Fearless)
"And Jesus came and touched them, and said, Arise, and be not afraid." Matthew 17:7
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